Isobel Waters

Should I have children? This question continues to trouble my conscience. Through the process of researching, making, and thinking in my practice, I have attempted to come to some sort of rational decision. Weighing up if the joys of parenthood could ever justify the unimaginable sacrifice required to carry, birth and raise another person. Much like the material of glass, it is a future that I can only partly envision; defined both by beauty and struggle, strength and fragility. And yet, I can’t ignore the feeling that no matter my decision, I will ultimately grieve a lost alternative. That the choice I make will result in the destruction of its counterpart. Unable to choose between these potential futures, I have decided not to decide, and thus must continue to sit with my maternal ambivalence.